S05.E03. Groovy Baby

Come quickly, have found heaven.

-Artist Alfred Hutty in a wire to his wife upon discovering Charleston


EPISODE 3 OPENS WITH SHOWING THE CHARLESTONIANS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITANTS. INCLUDING A NICE SHOT OF THOMAS IN BED WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND THE MORNING AFTER...THANK GOODNESS THAT THE TELEVISION IS NOT SCRATCH AND SNIFF. 

There is a nice moment showing Kathryn as a mother to her children; she tells the audience that Kensington had been taken away at six months. In a way, she reminds me of Holly Golightly who goes to rehab. She has this element and romanticism about life, visiting the prison still looking fabulous, her neighbor half in love with her, hoping to be good enough for the Ravenel's and Patricia's of the world. Dife Sunglasses in this case sadly does not make the woman.

Southern Charm

Thomas asks his girlfriend if she ever had a pregnancy scare. He is the classic case of Jax, from Pump Rules, but older with a southern accent. He wants to touch that fertile pot. He is too scared to make real decisions because of what others will think and his father's lack of acceptance; so he likes to dance with danger to make the decision for him. I will send him my Lucy psychiatric bill for five cents to Charlie Thomas Brown Ravenel.

Next scene cuts to Cameron and her non gay husband (Whitney) who fills in for her real husband so she can do her requisite scenes. Her commentary really just fills the purpose to represent the overall elitism of Charleston socialites. Although, it is much nicer to see her warm to the certain red head. It is way more classier and not as sexist. Whitney and Cameron is discussing Patricia's plan to throw a baby shower- that has an extensive theme to explain. Note: if you have to explain the theme that much and send vision boards- it is not a party, it is a production. Cameron's impending motherhood is making her a lot more warmer and likeable. 

The Charleston boys meet for drinks- who wonder if Craig is going to come out to them and look for fodder to feed their gossip on his relationship status with Naomie.  First of all, he is going to be the next Ralph Lauren with his sewing and style vision. His very spirit, confidence  and drive causes the other men to be threatened. Secondly, I forgot. 

Cameron sees her baby on the 3D scan with Chelsea. Blah blah blah. We are not doing What To Expect What You Are Expecting on TV here. But it provides a great setting to have a conversation on Austen that is not a restaurant. Chelsea is complaining on Austin's lifestyle of partying all day and not having a job. What is about the boys of Charleston who want to be women of leisure as soon as they get around Shep and Whitney? 

Thomas calls his dad who sounds like the Snowman from Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer from those 1970's cartoons. He also makes a reference to where Ashely lives as to where his father used to get his liquor...during Prohibition. 

Kathryn comes to visit Craig at his new place with his roommate. I am sorry- I think there should be a web cam just on that. Not a whole show- but what does Craig do during the day. I picture something like the Project Runway studio sans Tim Gunn. 

Kathryn reveals that she hooked up with Thomas in New York post dating Ashely. Totally believable. Nothing witty to say. There will always be a part of Thomas who wants Kathryn but he doesn't want to want her.

Patricia gives her future party planning book set-up baby shower for Cameron. She is calling it a Slim Aaron Miami Beach baby shower. However, it looks more like the Beverly Hills Hotel theme party on the Pinterest boards. Is her butler hitting up the martinis and the Pinterest for his mistress?

Patricia, please don't compare Trashley to Jackie O in her outfit. She did not get the theme- because most of the guests didn't have far to reach into their closets. Whereas, Trashley was dressing like she was meeting Thomas' father normally when she was applying to be his nurse. Her gloves are also hypo-allergenic. There was no theme with her. 

Patricia is all over Cameron's escort, Dr. Irons when they arrive. Maybe next husband in the sights? Mmmm. Apprently, though she is being courted by someone that is alluded on a future episode.

Southern Charm

Naomie risks her social standing to approach Patricia on her lack of invitation for Kathryn to attend the baby shower. Evidently, she did not get the psychology memorandum that everything Kathryn is that she detests is what she identifies in herself and magnifies her own fears. Dahhhling, Holly Golightly Kathryn shall be forever. 

Naomie takes aside Craig during gift opening to challenge Craig on whether he is ready to be a lawyer or not. She evidently is marrying the career promise, not the man. She doesn't want a wife- she wants to move out of her parent's house and not into Jo-ann's Fabrics. (For the record, I like Naomie. I am hard on her because she reminds me of myself 10 years ago. Ok, 3 years ago. But I am not agreeing to a day over that.)

She then finds JD and his wife arriving. I am sure behind closed doors, JD told Elizabeth to come to keep up appearances- Shep got it. Elizabeth on the other hand, did not realize that she was being leveraged for his good PR. Or maybe she did, because she wanted to neutralize having their divorce business paraded on television for every elementary school teacher and their kids' friends' parents viewing pleasure within 5 miles of Charleston.

CHARLESTON IS HIT BY AN EARTHQUAKE, 1886

More than 60-100 people died when an earthquake hit near Charleston, South Carolina on 31st of August, 1886. This was the largest recorded earthquake in the history of the southeastern Unit States resulting in fatalities and hundreds of buildings damaged.

Charleston Earthquake

In August of 1886, the town of Summerville felt foreshocks. Unfortunately, the magnitude of the quake was unforeseen. On August 31st, at 9:51 pm, the rumbling was felt as far as Boston, Chicago and Cuba. Alabama and Ohio had damage as well to their structures. There was even speculation at the time that maybe Florida had broken off from the United States. The approximate magnitude of the earthquake was 7.6 and the city of Charleston, South Carolina was hardest hit. Most buildings were destroyed or seriously damaged- numbering to about 2,000. Most of the buildings were torn down. 14,000 chimneys crumbled under the quaking. Not only does the earthquake cause chaos, but the resulting fire and water line ruptured produced havoc. It is estimated about $112 million in today's money.

Railroad tracks were bent- despite there not being actual surface cracks. Liquefied acres of land surrounded Charleston. The railroad basically cut off the inhabitants from the rest of the world. Experts were stunned and mystified because there was no known faults for 60 miles of the city. However, it was later determined that along the coastal plans of Virginia, there is a concealed fault. For weeks after the earthquake, aftershocks could be felt. When the buildings were built or structures recovered, earthquake bolts were added to the foundations in order to strength the stability. 

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